


You know you hurt me, why continue?

by screaming_cats



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Park Chanyeol, Muteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:48:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screaming_cats/pseuds/screaming_cats
Summary: Sehun forgets everything about Junmyeon, including himself.





	You know you hurt me, why continue?

Sehun wants peace and quiet. Tranquility and comfort. He wants to sleep in and wake up to pancakes and coffee, he wants cozy evenings spent watching an angsty drama, he wants harsh hands and harsh looks. He doesn’t get that. Instead he gets loud pop-music at 4AM, excited shouts and brightly coloured tufts of hair. He gets evenings spent on rooftops, screaming at everything and everyone, he gets soft hands and softer looks. 

 

Sehun doesn’t remember his life without Jongdae. He doesn’t remember  _ not  _ looking at a scrunched up eye-smile, he doesn’t remember what it was like to live in an apartment that had only a single bedroom and a room turned into a closet. He doesn’t remember waking up to a mess in the shower and apologetic eyes trailing after him.

 

That’s what he tells himself. That’s what he believes. He remembers loud evenings spent at a rundown karaoke place, everyone but him screaming the lyrics to a song that came out not too long ago. He remembers bright, bright neon lights and brighter smiles and camera shutters, alcohol drenched breath fanning on his red-glowing cheeks. 

 

He wakes up in the middle of the night to Jongdae finally showering, washing away the troubles and must and sweat of the day-turned-night. Jongdae hums a tune, familiar, not enough for Sehun to remember the lyrics. He stumbles out of the bathroom, wobbly legs and flailing hands. Sehun checks his phone for the time, a glaring light of Jongdae and Baekhyun and Minseok smiling becoming a bit less likeable. He throws his head back against the fluffy, fluffy pillows. It’s 3AM.

 

Sehun tries to tell himself to  _ not look, keep away, close your eyes, forget him, _ but he fails, oh so miserably. He looks at the beauty that is Junmyeon, chatting with Minseok and struggling to keep up with the pace of Baekhyun’s running.  _ Now is not the time. _ He thinks to himself, tries to whisper it out loud and Jongdae sends him a sympathetic look. He runs to the bathroom before rumours spread that he’s coughing up daisies again.

 

He falls asleep on Jongdae’s shoulder. He’s supposed to keep track of the amount of illegal shit they bring in and sell out and it’s boring, he decides to take a nap and Jongdae encourages him, but he feels something digging around in his chest, grasping his heart and sending him into a fit of panic. Jongdae jogs after him, as the taller disappears into the bathroom once again.

 

No one questions the completely bloomed red and blue anemones dangling from his fingers once he exits.

 

It’s only irony that Sehun hacks out a blood-stained white carnation infront of the whole gang, all the while maintaining direct eye-contact with Junmyeon. The elder tries to look away, but Baekhyun’s oh so pretty and nimble fingers wrap around his chin and force him to look, to see and understand what they have been protecting everyone from. 

 

There’s a surprising amount of people who scream, who cover their eyes and ears and hope for it to end. Sehun’s pained shouts die down, a smile contorting his pained expression as he coughs out a final bloodied blossom.

 

Sehun doesn’t speak, only singular words and sounds from the back of his throat. He can’t explain well either, a lack of understanding for those who still live with roots dangling through their insides. 

 

Jongdae understands him, deep regret settling into the timbre of his voice. Jongdae speaks of a boy, one with elf-like ears and an adorable smile always on his face. Jongdae tells him the story of a boy he could not love with regret in every syllable, because  _ he died, sehun, i can’t just let it go. _

 

Minseok tells him the story of his parents, both still dying. Minseok tells him of an unfortunate accident,  _ i’m the accident. _ The younger coughs in disagreement. Sehun lets Minseok cry on his shoulder and texts Jongdae to stay out of the apartment for the evening. Both wake up in a state of undress and with aching hips, blotchy shoulders.

 

Baekhyun tells him his view of Sehun. Baekhyun tells him of the fear he has for Sehun, suggests Sehun to leave and go and never look back. Sehun heaves a distressed wheeze. Baekhyun offers a throat massage, with gentle eyes and sighs of wonder. Sehun writes on Baekhyun’s back in response.  _ he loves you.  _ Baekhyun falls asleep under Sehun.

 

Sehun ends up spending another week with them. He goes and picks three bouquets of hydrangeas for his three friends. He’s gone by the seventh morning, a sleepy Jongdae pulling him in for a last hug, a last kiss. He leaves three notes in the shorter man’s possession. 

 

Junmyeon doesn’t expect to see Sehun’s face in the news when he wakes up. Yet, it happens, and with a picture of Sehun, a picture of ruffled gardenias appears next to him. His heart craves to ache in pain, familiarity, but it doesn’t happen. The text running over the screen taunts him, a maroon red looking out of place on royal blue.

 

_ The last known case of the now extinct harshest form of hanahaki disease has died on 21.05.2021 at 23:54. _


End file.
